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best joke ever*


ktv303

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A guy with a huge orange head goes to see the doctor.
The doctor says, "How did you get such a huge orange head?"
The guy says, "Well, one day i was walking down the beach when I tripped over an old lantern. A genie came out and said, I'll grant you three wishes, whatever you want...what is your first wish?' i said, I'd like aw the money I could ever spend and want my pockets stuffed with cash and the bankbooks effin bulging.'

The genie went Poof!', and there it was, all the money I could ever spend. Then he said, What is your second wish?' the guy said, well since ive got all the money i dont really need anything else as i can just now buy what ever i want. so the genie said if i dont use the 3 wishes then you dont get anything so after a long think the guy said I'd like to make beautiful women love me, women I could enjoy this money with so wherever i go i want fanny dripping off me and hanging on my every word i say.' The genie went Poof!', and there was gorgeous women everywhere and girls who immediately loved him.

Then the genie said, And what is your third wish?'... the guy thinks long and hard and says to the genie hes got all the money and all the women there really is nothing else the guy could ever want for, the genies gets right pissed off and says if you dont make a third wish youre getting nothing so stop fucking about and pick something, the guy think and thinks and thinks but cant come up with anything so just turns to the genie and says.

 

fuck it just give me a big orange head. 

 

(*maybe)

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Think you need to be told it instead of reading it.

 

The genie was annoying him to pick another thing and he couldn't think of anything so he ended up just saying fuck it just give me a big orange head.

 

I've heard loads of people telling this lately and everyone was pissing themselves.

 

 

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1 hour ago, ktv303 said:

Think you need to be told it instead of reading it.

 

The genie was annoying him to pick another thing and he couldn't think of anything so he ended up just saying fuck it just give me a big orange head.

 

 

 

 

I think i laughed more at your explanation than the actual joke tbh.....i got the punchline but didn't think it was funny :D

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

yous will love this one then...

3 bee keepers in the pub

1st bee keepers says "ive got a hive 10 meters long with 100,000 bees"

2nd bee keepers says " thats nothing, ive got a hive 100 meters long with 100,000,000 bees"

so the 3rd bee keeper says "oh ffs, who cares, ive got 100,000,000,000,000 in a hive 1 meter square"

the first 2 bee keepers look at him in horror and shout "WTF...wont they all be squashed????"

to which the 3 bee keeper replies................ "fuck them, theyre only bees"

 

(im available to hire for weddings, birthdays and funerals) ;)

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i was at a funeral funnily enough, well it wasnt as funny as that joke mind ;)

anyway.... i said to the widow "do you mind if i say a word"

she said "no please do"

so i cleared my throat and said "PLETHORA"

she said "thanks, that means a lot"

e14429.gif

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