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Diagnosed with Lazy Fat Bastard Syndrome !


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Well, over the last few months I've noticed a bump popping out of my belly that appeared to be getting more pronounced.


Thinking I had a hernia I decided to go to the docs - being my one and only New Year's resolution.


She sits me down and listens to my spiel. How I've been on Dr Google doing my research etc. and that I'll need a referral thank you very much to get the thing sorted.


We continue to chat and she explains after a bit of a prod on the table that I don't in fact have a hernia at all and that I have divarication of recti, also know as Diastasis.


Basically, 'cos I'm a lazy git who drives to work, and pretty much sits behind a desk all day, my core is shot and my abs have relaxed big time.

The six-pack separates down the middle allowing the layer of muscle underneath to bulge through. I can only think this is a clinical term for middle-aged spread.


I get the lecture about losing weight and controlling the diet etc and promise to have a go at some of the exercises. TBH, nothing less than what I was expecting from a lifestyle point of view.

She points out that I've not been to the docs for 12 years and that she's going to take some blood and see what comes back in 3-4 days.


Fook me, 2 days later on Saturday morning she phones telling me that my cholesterol is high at 5.6 - I expected that - and that one score in particular that should be no more than 2.0 - my Triglycerides level - is 11.7 !


Well, I tell you, I nearly dropped my bacon, egg and sausage butty there and then. :D


Doing a bit more research myself over the weekend I've concluded that I'm one of 3 cases: prem/newborn infant, postpartum woman or late-50's morbidly overweight male.

Not happy at all, it turns out my body is about 10 years older than my age.


So, at the age of 47, 5'8 and 17 stone, lifestyle change it is then.

We spent much of the weekend looking at what we eat as a family and shopping for 'good stuff' to eat. I honestly didn't think I ate that badly but it just goes to show how being a desk-jockey has badly affected me.


Tablets have now arrived from the chemist and Benecol drinks bought as a jump start to lowering the cholesterol levels. Got fresh-this and fresh-that to re-learn how to feed myself properly.


Update from the doctor this evening is that the rest of my bloods have come back and she's told me I have pre-diabetes.


What a start to 2016! Thought I had a shit one last year with my parents' health but Jesus H, I didn't think all this was bothering me but given the length of this post, I do believe it's all sinking in. At least I've been able to put some thoughts into words.


The pecker's up though. Pity I can't see the bugger past this bulbous belly of mine. :)

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Sorry to hear that bud.


Have a look at a game called Ingress. You basically look at a map online, plan how to beat the enemy and then you physically have to go out and visit these places with your phone to blow things up!


You tend to get quite excited during the game, causing you to walk a little further than you normally would, (or cycle)


It all sounds a bit strange, but its free, and massive (millions of people play it) and a lot of people have chosen it to help them lose weight.





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May I suggest looking into the LCHF diet. Its not really a diet per say, but more of a lifestyle.


Many people disagre with its approach but it works and has lots of dieticians/nutritionists starting to recommend it.


Do your ownr research and decide if its for you.


To give you an idea; 4 years ago I weighed 17st 11lb and I'm now 10stone 10lb. I thoroughly enjoyed it and still follow it now. My energy levels were better than they had ever been and the best part is that i was never hungry.




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A couple of years ago i decided to lose some weight, my clothes no longer fitted and i wasn't too pleased with the size of my belly either.

I did a bit of searching around an decided to download the ebook " 17 day diet" . Read the book and decided to start on the diet. It was based on cutting out nearly all carbs for the first couple of weeks and then slowly re-intruding them but in moderation. It recommended stuff like lots of boiled veg or said you could have stir fry if you preferred.

My daily diet was:

Breakfast: low fat greek yoghurt and strawberries or blueberries.

Lunch: As much tinned tuna/salmon and salad as i wanted with 1 egg.

Evening meal:Seasoned stir fry with as much chicken/lean beef or pork as i wanted. Or 12 oz steak salad.


No snacks no beer.


I really liked it TBH. Of course i cheated a bit. Like a pack of quavers every day and salad cream on the salad and as much vodka and diet cloudy lemonade as i needed to forget the fact i couldn't eat choclate or junk.

The weight just fell of me, I lost a stone and a half in 3 weeks and then nothing for about a week and then slowly re-introduced the carbs by adding a bit of rice or 1 chipped potato to the evening meal. Then i lost over another stone during the next couple of weeks and was pretty much at my ideal weight.

It's the only time i've dieted and i kept the weight off for a good 18 months or so. In truth i could do with doing it again but i'll wait until the spring cause i do like to pig out during the cold winter nights.

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@daz2905 - thats very similar to the Atkins approach. Almost everybody I know that has followed it, has ended up putting the weight back on...typically through the reintroduction of complex/starchy carbs.


Starchy Carbs (aka sugar) = EVIL

Natural fat = Healthy


Take a quick look here > http://www.dietdoctor.com/lchf#theory


I think i put my weight back on by reintroduction of the sausage chips and peas meal deal from the chippy up the road from where i work.


I just liked the diet to be honest, i was never hungry and for someone who can't boil an egg, i went to cooking up a mean stir fry. I hate the thought of having to change what i eat but i guess it's just what you have to do as you get older and stop playing sport. I'm pretty active at work and i'll look more into my diet when i bite the bullet in the spring. I think i need to cut the junk out and change what i eat rather than go on another diet. Will need the diet first though, if i don't see a change and see it fast, i'll just lose interest.

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Many thanks for the responses guys.


Don't get me wrong. Last night's post was just an outpouring of thoughts. Some of it reads now to be being sorry for myself and I'm not. I'm not happy with the news, obviously but it's not as if it was an earth-shattering discovery.


I'm not a victim here and I need to process that I am the one who put me in this position and with a little medicinal help and an injection of will power I'll be the one to put things right.


I've know for long enough that this day was coming and I know all the reasons for and am learning best solutions to sort myself out. It is pure laziness on my part and sometimes you do need a professional kick up the arse to hammer things home.


Again, thanks for the pointers and links. More research.

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I'm sure you'll get on top of this mate. It's not like you'll be doing it for no reason. You'll feel a lot healthier when you change your lifestyle and from what you've posted i read it as that everything is reversible. Sometimes a kick up the arse is what's needed and you've got that.

I wish you all the best with things and please update the thread as you hit the targets you set, i'd be interested to hear how you get on with this.

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There's a simple but hard to do theory to lose weight and get fitter,

porridge in the morn (makes you feel fuller longer)

eat fresh,

eat fruit veg,



lean pork,

wholemeal this wholemeal that,

go low on the sugar salt,

go low on the beer/ wine,

stay off the pastry and sweet dishes,

and to top it off,


.There's nothing fancy to it , straight forward, watch what you eat and do more. Try to eat 3-4 times a day but far smaller portions this way the body doesn't waste energy breaking it down. Try not to eat after 6pm. It doesn't have to be religious to the point your a buddhist monk living on nuts and berries, just lessen everything and get abit more active. dieting or exercising on their own won't work you HAVE to do both or your pissin in the wind.


I'm older than you and I carefully watch what I eat. I weigh 14st 10lbs at my worse and at my best just under 14st at my best shaggin weight :) but I'm a big fella 6ft 1" bit broad shouldered. No shit in the Maccies , odd Kentucky, but I try to stay away from crap. Don't get me wrong , it's hard to maintain it day in day out but if your jobs a sitter then it's up to you to make the changes. Once you get the ball rolling (the hardest bit) and you see the pounds drop off you will feel better and lessen the chances of any further health warnings.


I don't like gyms , tried them, spent most the time looking for a fookin car space, I don't like swimming, and my joints took a disliking to jogging so I took to biking. I started off over 18st a good few years back, probably heading down a similar line to yourself and the last draw was when I was out shopping for some new jeans and had to ask the woman for a pair of 40's !! I was gutted, pissed off and more to the point embarrassed at the way I looked. I thought fook to that, in the words of Dylan "Times are changing". I bought a shitty bike and never looked back, 1/2 hr is all you need on a regular basis and you will see your health improve overnight.


Get family or a mate involved then you got someone to bounce off when your less motivated. The one thing you need over any of the advise given by either me or from others is simply,:-


"WILLPOWER" , lots of it and by the barrel load,


Good luck , I hope you come up with a plan of attack but don't forget, your Doctors given you a yellow card, don't wait for a red

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Doctors given you a yellow card, don't wait for a red

Very well put GR.


Couch-2-5k is what I was working with up to last year but that all went to one side when both parents got diagnosed with cancer. TBH I'd already plateaued by then and with little free time and a lot of stress my own fitness did take a back seat. In now the reasons and I know the science behind what to do to put it right but that willpower thing just hasn't been me.


I'm coming to the end of a couple of weeks of semi-detox and diet change anyway now and next week sees me back at the gym. Treadmill and bike are it for me with a couple of belly exercises etc. thrown in for good measure. I've tried a few at home and I feel a right nonce doing them but I've know I've got to knuckle down and get with the program.


Movements to avoid:
 all strenuous exercises that cause your abdominal wall to bulge out
 sit ups/abdominal crunches
 holding baby on one hip
 lifting and carrying heavy objects
 rising from a lying position by pulling up and twisting at the same time
 intense coughing while your muscles are unsupported.


"No carrying heavy objects." - Been carrying people at work for fookin' ages. Told them I've got a hernia as a result :D

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if you are serious about losing the weight , it is all about exercise, what calories you take in , you must use them .

if you take in 1500 calories a day and do nothing but sit on your ass and just watch tv the body is storing it and not using it, as you say your not happy with the bulbous belly you have, the abdominal muscles that have separated could be due to yo-yo dieting or maybe from heavy lifting m8 .

it doesn't have to be a massive work out m8 just a half hour walk at nite will start you on the road to better health, once the good weather comes in then up it to an hour . just a brisk walk , np need to run it or time yourself ,

it is all about using the calories you have taken in during the day and using them .


I have seen my patients try all the diets and to be honest , it is all about exercise and being honest with yourself in what you are eating.

it is time ,and I say this to all my patients, that people should take responsibility for their own health and not rely on others to help them .

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TBH singer61, apart from Atkins when it was really popular I can say I've never been on diets. As previously mentioned, I do know and understand the logic and science relating to losing weight. I've just never practiced it for a long time.

I am my own worst enemy and blame no one but myself (and the missus sometimes re: portion control ).


There's no silver bullet and nothing immediate about my condition. I remember years ago being told that taking a statin will bring the score down but you don't feel the benefit of it per se. The benefits come from the other changes one makes to your lifestyle.


Making that change and KEEPING TO IT is the key and I hope to make a better and more long-term and concerted effort to do so this time round.

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like I said , it's not rocket science , simply eat healthier and exercise more. Every 1 of the so called "magic diets" means deficiency in something which in the long run leads to yo-yo dieting. You dont need to cut everything out just lessen certain foods and salts and sugar and step up the exercise. even a fast walk for 20 mins every other day and a few hills and you will notice the difference with the first 2 weeks.


To me it's similar to packing in smoking . . how much do you want it ?.

An example , tonight chicken breast steamed with a few veg, I made up a tin tomato based sauce adding some italian herbs and a handful of wholemeal pasta. Then a bowl of mixed fruit with a scoop of low fat icecream. To make life it easier I bought one of these ,




lob it all in and away you go.

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I agree that "magic diets" are rubbish and you will always end up putting it back on, however If you follow LCHF then there is no "defficiency", you don't cut out anything that your body actually needs and you are never left hungry...FACT


LCHF is not a diet, it's a way of life (healthy life). As an example; almost all individuals with type 2 diabetes, that have followed LCHF, have been able to stop medication in less than 1 year!


I'm speaking from experience; as somebody who had type 2 diabetes and struggled with weight for 20years. I can assure you that not only does it work, but you also feel full of energy, reduce cholesterol and actually enjoy eating healthy.

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Already cut out any kind of sweet snack whilst at work and been munching on bananas, almonds and soya nuts. TBH I'm not missing out on anything and not craving anything.

Another 2 weeks doing what I'm doing and I've got a liver function test. If that shows an improvement then its simply a case of sticking with the basics and tailoring the rest to suit, including a lot of you guys have posted.


Did my first 5k last night on the treadmill and although sore today I was surprised how relatively comfortable I felt afterwards. Another 5k Thursday and again Sat/Sun. And repeat. In 3 weeks I'll have run a marathon. Not that bad for a lardarse !


Wally, LCHF looks pretty much opposite to the guidance for lowering cholesterol. All I've read recently is eat most of the things on the LCHF 'do not eat' list.

It does look sensible though and might be worth following once I get my initial cholesterol score down.

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  • 2 weeks later...

The body has now rebelled !

Although I've lost 3kg over the last few weeks, I think my body knows somethings afoot. A few runs into the new life and I've never ached so much, especially above my right hip and around my back.


Thought about swapping over to the bike for a couple of weeks but remember how the nads going numb was worse that the discomfort I'm getting around my back.


Hopefully this is just a re-aligning things.

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If your getting hip or even say a knee problem you need something with less impact on the old joints. Swimming is by far the best closely followed by cycling If the knackers go numb you need to sort out the set up on the bike and the softer the saddle the number they'll go.


Try this guide;- http://www.bikeradar.com/gear/article/how-to-get-your-seat-height-right-14608/

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Congrats mate, nice to here it's paying off for you.

I have one of these air walkers that are very low impact and you can set the resistance on them, also have an exercise bike. You can pick them up really cheaply on ebay and narrow your search so you don't need to travel far to collect them.

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