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SEX (your worst experience)


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was chatting to a few mate about long forgotten sex stories last night n it reminded me of the time i was in hesham (just outside Morecambe) when me n the lady of the time where have a wee romp on the beach just after dark. we had out wee tartan blankey down and i was on my back with her astriding me giving it yaldy when i started to feel wee nips all over my legs, i let it go for a min or 2 as i was busy (lol) but it got too distracting so i told her to jump off for a second so i could have a looksie to see wtf was going on. so i gets the torch out and shines it on my legs to see them totally covered in fleas, i mean billions of them, it was like a pair of moving trousers, so obv i jumps up n try to clear them all off but the fekkers are jumping all over the place, she starts to scream when she discovers theyre all over her too, so i run into the freezing water to get rid of them but they just jump off my legs into my eye, ears, arse, you name it, i end up under the water to get rid of most of them while shes running about like a maddy on the beach screaming and frantically trying to get them all off. we soon realise nothing is helping and staying on the beach is only attracting more of them so we don clothes n fekk off sharpinsh back to the house only to discover we have taken a few million of the wee blighters with us and our clothes and now the rented flat are infested, we quickly get to the shops for some spray and douse ourselfs in it, then quickly go back to the shops for more to douse the house.


we where both covered in itchy bites for days afterwards and to this day the thought of it makes me itchy....sex on the beach?...never again


so whats your worse experience of a bit of nookie?

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mine must have been when i was 19 and while in the good old missionary position was making love and all was well till i felt rather wet thinking i was doing a rather good job then in pain i realised i had snapped the banjo string .. worst part was walking home in WHITE jeans and it was a long walk home..Happy Days :D

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